something called destiny

Maybe there really exists something called destiny. I never believed it because of its ridiculous randomness and too much of justfication. But, now that I've faced few of destinies by myself, I kind of became to believe its existence.
It came most obvious to me when I found out about Nellie McKay, the singer with a voice I fell in love with in just about a second. I have been always looking for good singers with attractive voices, but it never was easy for me to just find them with meticulous efforts. I rather tend to find them very randomly. I watched the movie 'P.S. I love you' pretty much randomlny on the airplane. I was quite interested in the actress who played holly's sister, knowing nothing about her singing career. But then, I typed her name in Youtube which brought me a whole bunch of her singing performances. Her songs were all my favorite. I simply fell in love with her voice. Yet, it was not manipulated by my effort. It just came very naturally and spontaneously. If that's what destiny worked for, then I thank for it.
Not only that, I experienced more deep sense of destinies these few days. Well, I had ever hated Chris from the boy group 'battle' due to his girly voice and feminized gesture. A year later, which is now, I fell in love with him, not excluding his girly voice and feminized gesture. To love someone, I thought I have to love him completely. I don't really like someone with girly voice. But, now I just accepted it as part of his characteristic and unique, yet, attractive point. Destiny changed me so to speak. Doesn't it quite make sense?
Well, although I am not adherent to destiny or destiny advocate or something. But, what I believe in is once you tie yourself up in destiny, there's no possibly many ways to get out of it. The important thing, therefore, is to relax and not bound by destiny, then destiny will come along without any tying up or caging you in. That's, at least, I learned from my destiny.

Yes, I'm getting used to it.

The fact that I'm getting used to my new job, an English teacher is pretty damn good to be true, yet I don't realize to my skin. Now, I got sort of routine to how to work on my schedule that is already set by the academy. I know how to make students shut their mouth now, though it's still really hard. Without any big trouble, I've managed until here, and, yes, almost 1 week passed since I started. Should I be proud of myself? I don't know. I still feel a little bit awkward between the environment of the academy and a whole crowd of students. It's like I'm unwelcomed third wheel or something? Yeah. That's quite right. I'm leaving in 2 months or maybe a month, if anything goes wrong, like the principle doesn't feel satisfied with my work or something. But, it's too soon to be afraid. Well, if I get fired, then at least I'm free. That's what I surely feel great about. So, I'm not going to mention about fire yet.... until I lose myself in unsureness of my work.
The biggest trouble, if I made any, would be that I fell in love with somewhat inapporpriate person to do so. Who said, age is nothing but a number? I wish it were the truth of all in the world of knowledge. To me, it seems like some kind of excuse that people make to justify their situation. So am I. He is only 16 years old in Korean age while I'm 20 years old. There's 4 years of gap, which seems bigger than it could be. More than just a number, me being a college student or, yeah, maybe a temporary teacher, and him being a middle school student make big difference. 4 years old difference is nothing considering this world allows even 20 years old apart couple to tie a knot. But, I'm pure soul of who never cross the line of taboo of some sort. I always like someone who's not in my age; older than I or younger than I. Well, to be specific and accurate, this is my first time to like someone who's younger than I. Grr-e-at. What an absolutely fucking situation I am in. I'm a teacher and he's a student. Is this a some kind of Korean drama? Hell, say 'no', pleassssse.
Time is flying faster than ever in America. So, who knows? This heart could dry before I head back to America. Wish whispers to me, "Do please"